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Have you ever sat in a meeting that you knew was going nowhere? The conversation continued to swirl around questions no one in the room could answer. You all bemoaned the uncertainty of it all. Or you were convinced that this time, one more conversation would get the answers you knew were out there. Or you were just stuck and didn’t know what to do, other than explore the question again. At best those conversations are frustrating. Often the unanswered questions just suck your energy and leave you tired and defeated. At worst, they are dangerous. They can trigger desperation that leaves you open to magical thinking.
Are you faced with rapid change, unexpected consequences, and unpleasant surprises? You are not alone. In these times of massive interdependence, economic disruption, technological transformation, and globalization, traditional tools and
techniques often magnify or mask problems rather than solving them.
Some people have a gift for seeing patterns in chaos. They make great artists and politicians and parents of two-year-olds. Pattern spotting does not come naturally to others, they look at a mess, and see only the mess. In HSD, we depend on being able to see deep simplicity that hides under the surface of chaos, so seeing patterns is a core competency for HSD practitioners. This guide will show you how.
Dealing with a performance issue is a bit like dealing with a hip injury: it can feel like a real pain in the gluteus maximus. It can also change your perspective on managing people, particularly when you ask the question, “Am I dealing with a problem or a pattern?” One of my clients—let’s call him Bob—met with me to talk about a performance problem he faced. He called it a “problem employee.” This employee was behind on work assignments, increasingly absent, and causing frustration within the team.
At times, it seems like the forces pulling us apart are stronger than the forces binding us together. Argument turns too easily into animosity. Disagreement escalates too quickly into dehumanization.
Not too long ago, I was disgruntled with the company that does some work around our house. From my perspective, they had not lived up to their promises, and as a customer I was not happy. Then when I tried to talk with them about the difference between what I expected and what I believed I was getting, they did not respond as I wanted them to.
We all deal with conflict, whether we like it or not. There are many ways to work through a difficult conversation, or find a settlement in negotiation. Some outcomes are more sustainable and satisfactory than others. The difference is in how you approach each conversation, and how you present yourself and the situation to others involved.
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